Courage is Fear Walking
“Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life.” - Susan David
When I first became a school leader, I used to think, “if it weren’t for the adults, I’d love this job.” I enjoyed seeing students across all grade levels. I loved watching kids grapple and triumph in classrooms across the school. I even loved being in the office with a grumpy 6th grader just so I could see the moment when he would finally crack a cheeky smile. Check me out in my “Ms. Beal” glory days.
Life with the students felt great. It was the adults. The adults were tough. After a few more years in the role, I came to accept my job was to be there for staff so they could be excellent for students - but it still wasn't easy.
Until I finally heard something that made me have a breakthrough. I was talking to a coach about how hard the adults were. I was hoping to find a way to make it easier, so I could stay in this role for years and years.
"Wait, who said it was supposed to be easy?" he said.
"Huh?" that was me, shocked.
"Who told you it was going to be easy? If you keep waiting for it to be easy, you'll never make it. Embrace that discomfort is a natural and inevitable part of the job - really life too for that matter. Then you'll find some peace."
Mind. Blown. My whole life I’ve worked so that I could experience ease. I studied hard at midnight so the test in the morning would be easy. I went to college so that life after would be smoother. I had kids so that I could experience the comfort of motherhood (ha!). I’ve always worked hard so I could have ease, waiting for something to finally click. What if, in trying to run towards ease, I was actually missing the satisfaction of the very difficult but meaningful work I was already doing?
So many times I work with leaders who say, “I shouldn’t have to have this conversation” or “They’re adults, why can’t they just get it together?” Or they’ll think, “I’m going to have this meeting and then I don’t want to have to talk about it again.” All of that is trying to get to the easy part, to get away from discomfort. What if instead of hoping that there are no more problems, we begin to embrace that problems are part of the job? That the very definition of leadership is tackling tough challenges.
I’ll leave you with another gem from Susan David, “Courage isn’t the absence of fear, courage is fear walking.” Leadership isn’t the absence of problems. It is the problems themselves. As long as you are making decisions that are aligned to your values, you’re doing it right. There is no greater joy than tackling a really tough challenge and seeing the positive results, especially for kids. I’ll take that over easy.
