How’s Your Praise?
I was recently out to dinner with a group of school leaders. When I asked what the biggest challenges they are facing right now are, they listed a dozen items. When I asked about what they are grateful for, I was met with bewildered silence before a round of laughter broke out.
I completely get it. November and December are notoriously rough times of year in schools. The days are long and the honeymoon is over. Leaders feel the burn of compassion fatigue and sharing appreciation and gratitude feels trite at best, impossible at worst.
Still, lean in. Find specific wins in what you and others are doing. 81% of employees report that they are motivated to work harder when their boss shows appreciation for their work. When all feels hopeless, having a leader who sees and names strengths and efforts can make a world of difference.
I recently got this text from my coach: “I want to reiterate something. I know it takes a lot to do some of the things we talk about and the way you execute is really amazing. I work with people who take months to do what you do in a week. It’s hard for you to know that because you don’t have the same perch I do. You are truly in the 99th percentile on hustle and guts. And it’s working. You’re making things happen.”
The text came on a rough day. I had just gotten a “no” on something I really wanted a “yes” on. One of my kids was home sick for what felt like the 14th time this fall. With this one text, I went from feeling dejected and despondent to hopeful, empowered, and energized.
A lot of leaders we speak with are wondering how to push their people without stressing them out. Consistently naming strengths, and creating a culture of positivity and appreciation, helps when it’s time to give critical feedback. Studies show that we only give 50% of the compliments we have for others. We are prone to overestimate how much those around us know how much we value them.
Winter break is a great time for under-recognized staff members to head to their computers and look for new jobs. Don’t assume your people know how much you appreciate them. Find the wins and share them out loud.
Gratitude Ideas
Warm Seat: Every quarter at School Leader Lab, we hold a warm seat. One teammate at a time sits in a comfy chair while the entire team shares a piece of precise praise.
Make it Routine: To make sure my gratitude is consistent, even when I’m at my grumpiest, I write down moments of precise praise when I see them. I keep a running list for each of my teammates every week and cross off the praise when I share it out loud. Make it part of the culture and have all leaders do this for their individual teams. In his ten years as CEO of Campbell’s Soup, Doug Conant wrote 30,000 thank you notes- 20 notes a day. You can do it!
Be Precise: “When you show up early for your duty post it not only makes the corner safer but it sends a message to your whole team that you do what you say you’re doing to do. This is just one of the many times that I see you keeping your promises, which makes you a really trustworthy team member” lands a lot differently than, “Thanks for being on time.” Don’t confuse being polite (saying a quick thanks) with showing individuals intentional appreciation.
Just Do It: Sometimes we are worried that our compliment will be awkward or won’t land. Focus on the warmth you are conveying to the person and don’t underestimate how much power authentic gratitude can have. Genuine generosity is rare and always lands.
School Leader Lab Updates
DC School Leader Cohort Alumni: Join us on January 27, 2022 for Back to the Balcony, our first ever alumni retreat. Register here and reach out to Maya if you have any questions. Congratulations to our newest class of alumni- SLC 2021!
Save the Date: DC School Leader Cohort (SLC) 2023 applications will open February 13. Be on the lookout for more information soon!
Opportunities Alert
In response to the dire literacy crisis that our nation is currently facing, our Founding Board Member, Jacquelyn Davis, launched Clever Noodle, a learn-to-read tabletop game company. Jacquelyn is thrilled to offer her proven, high-frequency sight word game, Kangaroo Cravings, free of charge, to elementary classrooms across DC. Click on this link and fill out the short survey so Clever Noodle knows how many games you want. Make sure to sign up for their newsletter to stay informed!
Education Forward DC is hiring!
