How Binge Watching Survivor Makes Me a Better Leader
Little known fact about me? I'm a huge fan of Survivor. I've seen almost every season, some of them twice. When your career is thinking about leadership development, every TV show and movie becomes an opportunity for lessons learned. In its 25 year history, I think this season of Survivor might be my favorite. And since I can't just chill and watch TV without thinking about how I can translate what I'm watching to our work with leaders, I figured I might as well write down why this season is so powerful and share some takeaways with you. Here are two moments that blew me away and what we can all learn from them:
Mitch's Moment: Staying Curious & Avoiding Assumptions
At the end of a challenge (contests within Survivor where they are either competing for rewards or immunity from being kicked off the island) contestant Mitch Guerrera began to stutter while answering one of host Jeff Probst's questions. Rather than jumping in to finish Mitch's sentence—as many might instinctively do—Jeff waited patiently, giving Mitch the space to express himself completely.
When Mitch was done speaking, Jeff said, "Mitch, I have a question. When you're struggling, do you want help from someone or [to] let you finish when you're ready to finish?"
In response, Mitch said, "The hope is that everyone would just kind of hang in there for me and just give me the opportunity to finish my sentence. I'm so thankful you asked that because, honestly, people just naturally want to help others and sometimes we don't feel comfortable enough asking that."
The National Stuttering Association later called this exchange "one of the most powerful moments of meaningful stuttering education."
Eva's Moment: Letting People Tell Their Own Story
In another pivotal moment, contestant Eva Erickson experienced what she described as an "episode" brought on by overstimulation after a challenge. Eva had previously confided in fellow contestant Joe Hunter that she has autism, explaining that she sometimes needs help getting grounded after becoming overstimulated.
Recognizing that Eva needed support, Jeff noticed Joe's hesitation to break a rule that states that people on different tribes cannot communicate (Eva and Joe started on the same tribe but were now on opposing ones). Since Eva had already confided in Joe about her needs, Jeff explicitly gave permission: "Joe, do you want to give Eva a hug?" Joe immediately rushed to her side, providing exactly what Eva had told him she needed—to be squeezed in those moments—and she quickly became grounded.
Eva then shared her story with the group: "My parents were told I'd never live independently or hold a job. I've never viewed my autism as a roadblock to success. It's not something to work around, it's just part of who I am."
So now that you know the moments, let's get into the related leadership takeaways:
1) Create space for people to solve their own problems
The Moment: When Mitch stuttered, Jeff waited without interrupting or finishing his sentences, giving him space to express himself completely.
Leadership Takeaway: Whether they have a stutter or not, the people you work with want the space, patience and trust from others to figure things out. When someone is struggling, either literally while trying to articulate themselves or more broadly, with a big challenge, resist the urge to jump in and "save them." Your patience shows respect and creates psychological safety. People can usually solve their own problems—they often just want the gift of listening. Notice your need to be a problem solver and whether the other person wants a solution, or just to be heard.
2) Stay curious without imposing your narrative
The Moment: When Mitch began to stutter, instead of making assumptions about how to help, Jeff asked directly with genuine curiosity, being open to whatever answer Mitch was going to give. This allowed Mitch to express his own needs rather than having someone else's solution imposed on him.
Leadership Takeaway: Often in difficult conversations, leaders make statements that reveal what they already believe: "You were late to work. As you know, at Benevolent Academy, we need all teachers in their doorways to ensure the safety of children. What steps can you take to prevent this moving forward?" On the receiving end of this, I already feel defensive because the other person is asking a question but isn't really curious at all. Instead, try Jeff's approach, which could sound like: "I notice you were late three times last week, what happened?" Open-ended questions without assumptions give people space to share their own story. If you don't have time to listen and be curious, you don't have time for the conversation, especially if it's a difficult one. This also doesn’t need to turn into low standards or ruinous empathy. Once the other person has shared, you can still state the standard and work together to find a solution.
3) Do your own work while expressing gratitude for others' teaching
The Moment: When Mitch explained how he preferred to be supported during moments of stuttering, Jeff responded with "Thank you for teaching us how to do it." Jeff's thoughtful engagement with both Mitch and Eva reveals that he's done his own work to develop his emotional intelligence and inclusivity skills.
Leadership Takeaway: While people are often gracious and willing to teach others about their experiences, it shouldn't be their burden alone. Show that you're actively educating yourself and express genuine gratitude when someone shares personal insights that help you grow. Most powerfully, make sure you act on what you've learned, so they don't have to keep educating you on the same issues.
4) Don't let compassion turn into pity
The Moment: After inviting Joe to help Eva, Jeff reminded everyone this was still a competition, saying Joe might "stab Eva in the back" later. This wasn't harsh—it was Jeff protecting and reminding everyone of the rules of the game. It also prevented Joe from being punished for helping (showing alliances is dangerous in Survivor) and Eva from being pitied. Eva had expressed major reservations about telling anyone about her autism, for fear of being treated differently.
Leadership Takeaway: When someone shows vulnerability, don't treat them differently afterward. Jeff allowed a human moment, then helped everyone remember the rules of the game. This spared Eva and Joe from having to awkwardly reestablish the competitive relationship themselves. True respect means seeing someone's whole humanity without reducing them to their challenges. And true leadership sets norms that help people understand and reinforce the rules of engagement.
5) Let people tell their own story
The Moment: Jeff didn't tell anyone what was happening with Eva. When she was grounded and ready to engage again he asked, "Eva, what happened for you?" This gave Eva the choice to share her story, or not.
Leadership Takeaway: I've heard stories of people feeling the most harm from leaders who likely thought they were being benevolent or protective by sharing what was going on with them, but this was actually the most traumatic part of someone's journey. Someone's story is theirs and theirs alone to share, no matter what. As leaders, we need to create space for people to share or not share their experiences in their own words, on their own timeline, and with their own framing.
6) Be willing to evolve
The Moment: This moment is beyond this current season but another one of my favorites from Survivor. Five seasons ago, after 41 seasons of saying "Come on in, guys!" Jeff asked the players if the phrase was still appropriate. When contestant Ricard expressed that dropping "guys" would be more inclusive, Jeff immediately embraced the change, saying "I'm glad that was the last time I will ever say it."
Leadership Takeaway: Even cherished traditions should be examined through the lens of inclusivity and impact. Be willing to evolve your practices when greater awareness demands it, even when change feels uncomfortable. This also applied when Jeff uses his attunement and emotional intelligence to break post challenge protocol and invite Joe to support Eva.
7) Leadership comes from influence, not titles
The Moment: While Jeff facilitated these powerful moments, Mitch, Joe, Eva, and Ricard demonstrated remarkable leadership themselves. Mitch clearly stated what he needed from others, even when it's likely not what they assumed. Eva shared her experience with autism while refusing to be defined by it. She also showed social awareness by carefully choosing Joe as the person to confide in. Joe lived his values by supporting Eva when needed, potentially at the risk of his own game. Ricard showed courage by speaking up about inclusive language after taking time to reflect, even when it meant challenging the initial group consensus.
Leadership Takeaway: True leadership isn't about position or authority—it's about influence and impact. Anyone can lead from where they stand by showing up authentically, advocating for themselves and others, and creating positive change through their actions. Sometimes the most powerful leadership comes from those without formal titles who step forward to make a difference in moments that matter.
In closing, let’s go back to my admission that I’ve watched nearly all 46 seasons of Survivor. Listen. I watch a lot of TV. That’s probably not the most esteemed thing for an Executive Director to admit but, it’s true. I once told my coach that I feel so guilty for my indulgent, hours-long Netflix binge marathons. I grew up in a household where we didn’t sleep late on Saturdays and the motto was “Beals like to work hard.” Watching three seasons of Real Housewives of Potomac in one sitting doesn’t really fit into that aesthetic.
Here’s what my coach helped me understand- the TV binging and related brain rest is part of my sustainability. Our jobs in education are very high-stakes and grow more difficult by the minute in this current climate. I simply cannot function without protecting guilt-free space to watch The White Lotus. Or without looking forward to my upcoming trip to Ireland with my two best friends. Or the Disney Cruise I’m taking with my husband and kids this Spring Break. As Tricia Hersey says, “You were not just born to center your entire existence on work and labor. Release the shame you feel when resting. It does not belong to you.” Our staff and students will be the ones who suffer if we burn ourselves out.
So, here’s to guilt-free bingeing. Or hiking. Or swimming. Or napping. Or resting in whatever way feels right for you. If you really can’t let go of guilt, just call it research.
