Why I Run Back for My Rings
When I get home each day, I take off my wedding rings. It’s part of my “sweatpants on, hair in a bun, rings off” routine. Often, in the morning rush, I’ll forget to put my rings back on. Depending on where I’m heading, I’ll either decide to keep going or run back to get them. Doctor? Rings. Grocery store? No rings. School appointment? Rings.
Why this ring dance? The rings make a difference in how I’m treated as a black woman, professional, and mother. I have felt the shift in interaction when I have my rings on and when I don’t.
When Ralph Yarl was shot for being lost and black at the same time, his image was posted across the internet. I couldn’t help but notice how many photos depicted Ralph with a saxophone, in the chemistry lab, or engaging in some other academic pursuit.
If I were Ralph’s mother, I would feel compelled to find photos of my son that were particularly scholarly. That tell people he was “different.” That he didn’t deserve to be shot in the head, that he was no trouble to anyone.
The rings and the saxophones and the chemistry labs all wreak of Sojourner Truth’s “Ain’t I a Woman” speech. Demanding to be seen as human, as worthy of living. Should it matter if instead of a saxophone in his hand, Ralph was wearing a durag on his head? No. Would it? Absolutely.
So how does this apply to life in schools? Each week, we have thousands of moments of interacting with our staff, students, and families. How are we deeply aware of the judgements we make in the moment about who has worth and who does not? Are we having conversations with our staff about how we think about students with clean uniforms vs. soiled ones? Or parents who wear bonnets to school vs. those who wear suits?
I am honored and humbled by the work so many educators continue to do. Despite bans on history and states within our borders being deemed unfit for travel, we persist.
Yesterday marked three years since the murder of George Floyd. Toni Morrison once said, “The very serious function of racism is distraction. It keeps you from doing your work.” As you prepare your summer professional development calendar, don’t get distracted. Continue to fight for the safe, antiracist schools we were all inspired to create three years ago.
A few helpful resources on your way:
School Leader Lab partners with the Center for Racial Justice in Education to deliver antiracist leadership development for our cohort members. Check out their Talking About Race Guide.
Read this article about how to create psychological safety for black women at work.
Use this list to have conversations about microaggressions against students with staff members at your school.
School Leader Lab Updates:
Alumni Convening: We had so much fun with our incredible SLC alumni at Hook Hall last night. Look out for more alumni events this fall!
DC SLC 2023: Next week in Annapolis, we will launch our seventh SLC cohort. Our 16 leaders represent 10 networks in DC impacting 7,000+ students. Welcome to the SLL family!
